ABC thoughts for conflict management
ACCEPT the differences in the other person as necessary and helpful for balance… resist the need to judge one as better than the other.
ADMIT quickly and effectively when you are hurtful, wrong, including a portion where each of you fell short.
CHALLENGE ideas passionately (at times), but do so by laying down a thick foundational layer of each of pursuing a better team, an improved relationship.. without residual feelings of collateral damage.
COMMUNICATE constantly that your partner is competent and deserves to be respected / understood ESPECIALLY when you disagree.
ASK often, “what do you need from me to feel deeply connected?”
ATTEND to the rare strengths in each person which benefits the relationship and realize that these same strengths can become weaknesses.
CONFESS for self (I did, I said, I might/could have done this differently) twich as much as you confess for your partner – See your part in the conflict and consider that the part is a stumbling block for your partner.
ATTACK the regular patterns / cycles in your communication where each of you return to AND stay in… SEE the patter / Cycle as the problem, not the person.
BEAR your soul often, BE vulnerable, BE transparent, and BE open as it is the oil that lubricates the tensions that will surface in healthy relatiosnhips.